Stupid Quizzes

A friend of mine (hi, Cricket!) has this stupid quiz on her myspace account (which BTW I parodied quite nicely). It's something about "which religion are you?" Poorly worded and can be answered in several different ways but I said WTF....

My results.....

You scored as atheism.
You are... an atheist, though you probably already knew this. Also, you probably have several people praying daily for your soul. Instead of simply being "nonreligious," atheists strongly believe in the lack of existence of a higher being, or God.
atheism
100%
Satanism
96%
Paganism
58%
Islam
46%
Buddhism
38%
agnosticism
38%
Judaism
29%
Christianity
8%
Hinduism
8%


I don't get the Satanism thing. I don't believe in Satan either. Hell, until Christmas, I was an Agnostic. And I hate Pagans. They stink too much and usually need hair cuts and penicillin shots. And don't even get me started on the other results....

These people need to do a better job on the questions if they want to profess "knowing" which religion someone is or isn't. It can really fuck a person up.

Look at me.

Why Being Anti-Terror Isn't Anti-Semitic

Boy. Ohhh, boy.

The news this weekend sucked. The cable shows were in a frenzy with everything being about either bombs, guns or what happens to people's body parts and an entire country when bombs and guns are put in the hands of small-dicked assholes full of hatred for the next guy over. It was literally depressing. If I flipped through the news channel block on our local cable network for even half a second, I felt like Harry Potter did when he ran into those Azkaban guards- like the life force was sucked out of me. So, I did what comes natural- I watched 10 hours of Mama's Family.

If you don't remember Mama's Family, let me refresh you. It's a spin-off of The Carol Burnett Show. It was s kit in which Carol Burnett played a Midwestern hag named Eunice Higgins. Her slug of a husband was of course played by Harvey Korman and Vickie Lawrence played her mother, Thelma Harper. The skit was a huge hit on TCBS and then spun off into it's own TV show in 1983 starring Thelma and her son, Vinton, his wife, Naomi and various grandchildren and neighbors. It ran intermittently until 1990 and since then has been in syndication. Sadly, I've just learned it was cancelled by TBS and will stop airing in late August (fuckers... I should write them an open letter, too).

My hubby hates the show with the same passion in which I love it, so I usually watch it alone with my dog. It's not the most intellectual or most creative or even the most interesting of shows, but it reminds me of every dead relative I had when I was a kid growing up in the South. Colorful characters who lacked any serious bigotry (unless you were a darkie they didn't know), with simple lives who needed very little in the way of money or power or even recognition. Honest, god-fearing, Southern-Midwesterners with a penchant for yelling at each other or doing the unthinkable.

Damn. I wish life were that simple.

It's not.

Hell, look at Israel. On one hand, they need to protect themselves, but on the other they need to support democracy in Lebanon. And then Hezbollah, they want Golan Heights back and want to stand out from their former backers in Syria and Iran. They're trying to act like they're out of training pants when they aren't IMHO. And the Lebanese government and everyone else is caught in the middle of what boils down to a triangle of hate between the Jews- the Shi'a- and the Sunnis. (Now, if you can remember..... it's the Shi'a and Sunni who are blowing the shit out of each other in Iraq with US troops in the way. So think of this as just as explosive and just as stupid.)

I say fuck 'em. Especially Israel for going to far. They're behavior in killing over 50 kids in Qana this weekend and UN observers last week is just too damn much. They've brought an Howitzer to a rock fight. They're terrorizing an entire nation and the US is letting them get away with it.

No one wants to get into this fray for fear of being labeled a Jew hater or a Nazi. I think that's ball-less. I say Israel ought to step the fuck back and get to the table. If they don't, its leaders should be tried for war crimes and crimes against humanity (but then again I think Bush and Rumsfeld should be too).

I'm not Jewish, and for some that means I'll never understand the Jewish plight. Whatever. That's a bullshit argument. I'm not black either, but I sure like Mary J. Blige and Burger King. I'm not Vietnamese, but I damn sure like fish sauce. I'm not a gay man, but I sure like watching two hot guys get it on. Yeah, espcailly that....but I digress.

One of my favorite commentators is Jewish and is very active in the Jewish community and is known for being outspoken and proud of his religious and ethnic heritage. Who is he? Dr. Eric Alterman, of course. IMHO he is one of the brightest minds in journalism and political commentary that this country has. He is a regular contributor to "The Nation" and a well-respected writer, blogger and former professor. And guess what- he friggin' agrees with me about Israel going too far. Check out his latest post on the US Jewish community's fractured and almost knee jerk response to the conflict.

Think about it and start asking yourselves why we aren't out in the street protesting this bullshit? Why do we sit around in our safe homes, with air conditioning and a large supply of ice cream (we almost always have at least 3 flavors in our house at any time) watching reruns of a show that's been dead for 16 years instead of marching en mass against the death and destruction our "ally" rains down upon a sovereign, democratic nation? What happened to Americans being against terrorism? Does it only count when the victims aren't Muslim? How fucking Christian is that?

Hell, just ask yourself something. A this point, I'm convinced most Amerikans are fucking retarded. Give them a soundbite and they'll goosestep right along side every other asshole without a brain or balls. Start a dialogue somewhere. Do some damn research about Middle Eastern history and culture. E-mail someone who might know someone who knows someone who knows someone.

But whatever you do- don't zone out. If this shit keeps up, you'll need to know how many MRE's to stock in your bunker.

Some Interesting Must Reads On Israel and Hezbollah

Here are three links that are a fantastic read for some background on how this "thing" came to be shaped and what lies ahead for the US in this foreign policy and military minefield.

Read the Rolling stone piece first. Then the Ha'aretz piece. Lastly, an update on Big Dog's stance. Once you finish them ruminate on these questions:

1. Why is AIPAC so important in all this?
2. What US political leaders have strong ties to AIPAC? (Hint: I posted on him recently.)
3. Why hasn't Bush said anything? Or had Condi saying anything?
4. Has someone tied Condi's hands? If so, why?
5. Why has Tony Blair come in today? American Idol?
6. Why aren't more people being prosecuted for treason? Would their prosecution endanger US business and military interests abroad or would it affect the '06 elections?
7. Why is the State Department still protecting Chalabi?
8. What can we do to redeem ourselves (if anything) in the international political arena?
9. What does the Protestant right wing have to do with out Mideast foreign policy?
10. What's more dangerous: the US addiction to oil or the US addiction to Protestantism or the military industrial complex?
11. Why is Bush still trying to slam John Bolton down Congress' throat? And how does this come into play inside the UN?

Oh, well. You have your homework assignment. Enjoy.

Oh, The Saga Continues

It's Monday and I have to meet with a pain in the ass attorney in a few hours so they can jack up their billables. Hell, it's still $300 I get to charge my client (who is also a pain in the ass who won't listen to me). But, hey, what's new?

This was in my Inbox this morning. My twice removed aunt or great aunt or whatever has responded to my last e-mail regarding her fake e-mail forwarding. I wonder if she skipped the line where brains were handed out and asked for a second helping of "toolness."

Here's the e-mail:

Dear Raving Badger,
You really have some strong feelings! If you go back to the original letter it is a long way from all the things you are accusing me of. Lets examine your last letter.
No one particularly me cares if they keep their heritage. Like you said the different nationalities have wonderful things to celebrate from their histories. What I do believe is if a person of any nationality wants to become a part of our country they should learn our language and be registered in some way so they can be accounted for just like you and me and then they can recieve what ever they are entitled to,. I wouldn't go to another country and ask them to learn my language and print everything for me. Do you see German, Chinese, Vititnamese, etc instructions on everything you buy? They should get the same pay as anyone else in their trade and employers should be held responsible if they are working illegals for low wages.. I couldn't care less what color of skin they have. We have some dark skin people in our family (yours and mine) I love them all. If you have a better way of granting citizenship to immigrants then, I believe you are in the right business. Change the laws. I AM NOT AGAINST IMMIGRATION only when it is illegal.
Most of the things you were going on about have nothing to do with the original letter in fact if you reread it, it was praising all the different nationalities we have in our country. The way I read it, It was not against immigration but illegals and you can blow it all out of proportion that you want. I am not supporting any Minutemen or neo-nazis .
I am totally in agreement with you on our border security. Bush and his allies are destroying our country every move he makes. There are no telling how many illegals who are crossing all our borders and willing to destroy us. All the more reason to do something about it.
Your remark about red neck crackers sounds like you have some regional prejudices of your own. I hope that all your anger becomes productive.
Sincerely, Aunt So-and-So

Any votes on how I should respond? I'm trying vey hard to count to 10 before responding to someone who is clearly impossible and doesn't get the nuances of how she's being a tool.

I Fucking Hate Redneck Racist Crackers

and the willfully ignorant, too.

So there's this exchange via e-mail between me and a distant aunt (like twice removed or something) I have never met. It started with one of those damn basement troll e-mails about immigration that reads as follows (I have not cleaned up the e-mail. This is how I received it exactly execept for the Italics for easier reading):


this man tells it like most of us born citizens feel. I hope eachof you DOES pass this on.
hugs,

"charlie"

> New Immigrants > From: "David LaBonte" > My wife, Rosemary, wrote a wonderful letter to the editor of theOC Register which, of course, was not printed. So, I decided to "print"it myself by sending it out on the Internet. Pass it along if you feel soinclined. > Dave LaBonte (signed) > > Written in response to a series of letters to the editor in theOrange County Register: > > Dear Editor: > > So many letter writers have based their arguments on how thisland is made up of immigrants. Ernie Lujan for one, suggests we shouldtear down the Statute of Liberty because the people now in questionaren't being treated the same as those who passed through Ellis Islandand other ports of entry. > Maybe we should turn to our history books and point out to > people like Mr. Lujan why today's American is not willing toaccept this new kind of immigrant any longer. > > Back in 1900 when there was a rush from all areas of > Europe to come to the United States, people had to get off a shipand stand in a long line in New York and be documented. Some would evenget down on their hands and knees and kiss the ground. They made a pledgeto uphold the laws and support their new country in good and bad times.They made learning English a primary rule in their new Americanhouseholds and some even changed their names to blend in with their newhome. > > They had waved good bye to their birth place to give theirchildren a new life and did everything in their power to help theirchildren assimilate into one culture. Nothing was handed to them. No freelunches, no welfare, no labor laws to protect them. > > All they had were the skills and craftsmanship they had broughtwith them to trade for a future of prosperity. Most of their childrencame of age when World War II broke out. My father fought along side menwhose parents had come straight over from Germany, Italy, France andJapan. None of these 1st generation Americans ever gave any thought aboutwhat country their parents had come from. > > They were Americans fighting Hilter, Mussolini and the Emperor ofJapan. They were defending the United States of America as one people.When we liberated France, no one in those villages were looking for theFrench-American or the German American or the Irish American. The peopleof France saw only Americans. > > And we carried one flag that represented one country. Not one ofthose immigrant sons would have thought about picking up anothercountry's flag and waving it to represent who they were. It would havebeen a disgrace to their parents who had sacrificed so much to be here.These immigrants truly knew what it meant to be an American. They stirredthe melting pot into one red, white and blue bowl. > > And here we are in 2006 with a new kind of immigrant who wantsthe same rights and privileges. Only they want to achieve it by playingwith a different set of rules, one that includes the > entitlement card and a guarantee of being faithful to theirmother country. I'm sorry, that's not what being an American is allabout. I believe that the immigrants who landed on Ellis Island in theearly 1900s deserve better than that for all the toil, hard work andsacrifice in raising future generations to create a land that has becomea beacon for those legally searching for a better life. I think theywould be appalled that they are being used as an > example by those waving foreign country flags. > > And for that suggestion about taking down the Statute of Liberty,it happens to mean a lot to the citizens who are voting on theimmigration bill. I wouldn't start talking about dismantling the UnitedStates just yet. > > (signed) > > Rosemary LaBonte > > P.S. Pass this on to everyone you know!!! KEEP THIS LETTERMOVING!! I hope this letter gets read by millions of people all acrossthe nation!!

Soooooo..... now I'm pissed because someone forwarded something to me that is so completely racist, so completely false and did so without ever questioning the views espoused therein. Fuckers are wasting my and everyone else's time writing this shit. And don't get me started on clogging my inbox. Of course, I have to respond. Maybe I was a bit harsh, but I don't think so. We have to use tough love with these nonsensical forwarders.

Here's my response (in Italics for easier reading and my name redacted):

To Whom It May Concern:

Please do not send me this type of racist crap. My grandmother is an immigrant. I have friends and co-workers who are immigrants. This is nothing more than racist propoganda by hatemongers. I won't stand for it being in my in-box.

Further, I suggest you actually study the issue before adopting such a dimsighted opinion.

Sincerely,
The Raving Badger"


Lo and behold....I get a response:

Dear Raving Badger,
I am so sorry that this offended you. I in no way am against immigrants coming to the U S but as this letter says your Grandmother came to our country like so many others from all different parts of the world in the past and unlike so many that are coming to our country now,. She came in legally learned to speak our language even better than she did when she came. She never asked us to print her native language on everything to make her life easier. She never waved the Austrian flag and demonstrated wanting to change our laws.
I am sorry if you feel that I am prejudice. That is totally untrue. If anyone wants to come to our country and go Thru the legal channels, learn OUR language and be productive citizens I am all for it. I have friends from several different countries and none on them are illegal or have asked for special treatment.
Do you think we should just leave our borders open and let anyone in with no restrictions? I wonder if you really read this letter because you really took it the wrong way or your ideas are a lot different then what I thought you were like. Like I said I didn't mean to offend you and I am sure if you ask your Grandmother she feels the same way I do.
Thanks for hearing me out. Sincerely, Aunt So and So

Now my response (I'm holding back in it as you'll see):

Aunt So and So,

What is wrong with immigrants keeping some part of their heritage? Should the Chinese stop eating Moo Goo Gai Pan? Or the Hausmans stop eating Goulash? Or Grandpa stop drinking schnapps? Seriously. Where do you draw the line? You do know, of course, that the assimilation requirements are no different than the Jim Crow voting laws of the segregationist South? Pay a fee. Pass an English test. Prove you can read Shakespeare. It's the same nasty animal and it's utter crap designed to divide people and keep them from successfully immigrating. It's racism with a civilized visage. But it's still racism.

I understand the assimilation argument to some extent, but it's a red herring. There are many immigrant neighborhoods across the US and they have never been a source of problems. What do you care if the signs are in Chinese in San Fransico's Chinatown? Or there are Spanish buiness signs in the barrio? You don't live there anyway. Should Muenster, Texas stop having its Germanfest because German is spoken? Should the Italians stop their Columbus Day parades or Saints celebrations where they sell cannoli? Why should someone be forced to hide their proud heritage? What? Because they don't hail from Europe?

BTW- did you know that the Minutemen that patrols the borders and other groups like them have been fundraising 100's of millions of dollars for building a "fence?" In reality, that money is funding neo-nazi type groups who spread hatred and racism instead of building a wall. It's money for weapons and training for a future race war. That's who's behind this stuff. Join them if you want, but be prepared to have the same blood on your hands. Just because you don't personally advocate shooting border jumpers doesn't mean that you are any less morally and ethically culpable. Hell, even Christ was an immigrant. And the anti-immigration stance is the least Christian of any stance I have seen in politics.

I am all for border patrol, but criminalizing those who are here and who are law abiding, and tax paying (yes, they pay taxes too even though they'll never be able to apply for a tax refund or collect social security or welfare or food stamps or SSI) is wrong. It's punitive and for absolutely no reason at all other than their skin is a different color. Those here should not have to leave. And frankly, I am sick of the xenophobia being demonstrated by redneck crackers with no idea of what all they destroying.....small businesses that depend on low wage workers, entire communities that generate lots of sales tax, churches would lose congregations (esp. Catholic churches), schools would lose their tax base, etc..

If you are looking at this subject as a part of the war on terror, then immigration has nothing to do with it, porous borders do and you better look north to Canada where there is a demonstrable problem. Look to our ports which are presently controlled by the Dubia company we complained about 5 months ago. Currently, they are in charge of no less than 22 US ports. How sneaky of Bush and Co., huh? Willingly handing over port security to a country known for supporting terrorism both financially and logistically??? Damn. That's smart.

Look, it's a crap letter mass generated by some troll in his basement for money. It's propaganda of the worst sort and I will not stand for it.


The Raving Badger

Soooo.. who's right?

Me, of course.....

The Truth About Lieberman

I've been reading the progressive blogs lately and many of them are pretty rabid about the Lieberman vs. Lamont primary race. They are excited today because Lamont is polling ahead of Lieberman in a well-regarded poll. 51% to 47% is a pretty good result for a guy whose last stint at public service was as a city alderman or councilman or whatever the hell they call it up north. They think they had something to do with Lieberman's implosion.

Maybe they did. Maybe they didn't. I tend to think Lieberman did this to himself and ultimately it was inevitable. Here's why:

Lieberman's only true cause is Israel.

Now before some of you go off on that lamebrained "you're an anti-Semite" shit, understand this- I am not an anti-Semite. Nor am I anti-Muslim or Christian or anything else. I am, however, all for calling a spade a spade and let's face it- Israel isn't all it's cracked up to be.

But before I go too far astray, back to Lieberman....

This guy started off with his roots in the Civil Rights movement. He's a Yankee Jew so that is to be expected insofar as stereotypes go. He appears to be the prototypical Northeastern liberal that scares the hell out of the crackers. And scare them he did. He supported largely democratic causes during the first third of his life in the Senate, but now he scares Democrats. I dunno if it was the standard midlife crisis wherein one starts worrying about their mortality so they get closer to their god or if it was the general instability in the Mideast that became very apparent in 1991 when the US helped push Iraq out of Kuwait and stopped the missile attacks on Israel, but something happened that caused him to start tilting to the dark side.

His voting record changed from 100% pro environment and anti-war to one that is damn near completely opposite these days. In the last 15 years, I doubt there has been a single vote, a single committee meeting or two martini luncheon that hasn't been geared towards helping Israel. I don't think Joe Lieberman really gives two shits about helping Iraqis achieve democracy. I believe he only cares about keeping Saddam out of power and doing that which the Israeli lobby in DC wants. They say "jump," he says, "how high??"

Sadly, I also don't think he's intelligent enough to think through what all has been required of him by the Israeli lobby and how his support of the invasion of a sovereign nation and its subsequent occupation would increase anti-Israeli sentiment. I don't think Joe Lieberman has the smarts to understand the history of the region objectively, to understand how every military movement by the Israeli army, or broken promise to free Palestinian lands from occupation, or threat to invade a sovereign, democratic country, or bomb dropped on a an apartment building full of families with children increases exponentially the collective will of those who hate Israel and wish to see it destroyed. In a sense, he's harming his greatest cause.

Joe Lieberman wears his heart on his sleeve like any typical, bleeding heart liberal. His support of the civil rights movement, his desire to be an attorney, his desire to enter politics in an effort to vanquish bad men from holding office, his peace activism, his support of gun control....these are all stances of someone with a gut level reaction to something he has defined as either good or bad in his mind. He doesn't really think about polls or what his constituents think. And that IMHO explains why he jumped the shark after 9-11. And it also explains why he is reacting so poorly to Lamont's challenge and attacks on Lieberman's voting record.

He's not lying, folks, when he states he votes his conscience. He reacts from his gut. His reactions have been quite emotional if you watch recent footage. Look at his anger. Look at his contempt. He really feels this shit and can't stop himself from getting all aggravated. That's all he knows. But therein lies the problem- his emotional attachment to all things asociated with or protecting (in his retarded head) the Holy Land. It makes no sense to him that voters in his district and members of his professed party disagree with him. He sees his work in this regard as a calling and will never, not even on his dying day, understand why people have deserted him. In his mind, he hasn't changed. We have.

Of course, he is dead wrong. Neither of us have changed, he's just been so sly at his true calling that we never saw it before. So long as he voted and supported mostly Democratic causes, we wouldn't see what he was- a zealot of the worst possible type. The "R" or "D" designation means nothing to guys like him. Wearing a donkey or elephant button is merely a means to an end and doesn't define who he is or what his calling is to him in his mind.

I don't know very much about Ned Lamont and I haven't given him money. I can't even vote in that election, but I feel Joe Lieberman has to go. Elected officials in America should represent Americans and American interests. They should not be more focused on their god or their business, or their personal fortunes, or even another country. In that sense, Joe Lieberman is no better than Duke Cunningham or Jerry Lewis or Bob Ney or Ralph Reed or Dick Cheney or any other past or present office holder who puts his or her interests ahead of the people's business. I think Connecticut voters are seeing that to some degree.

I just don't know if they have enough objectivity at this point to keep Joe and others like him out of office. I hope they do. Twice.

Simmering Down....

Nah, not really, but I figured I might fake some you out. Or at least try.

So here's my rundown for the day with ass rape as a general theme:

1. I still think my post yesterday is right on. I know. Surprise. Surprise. But seriously, anyone else notice that Newt admitted to the Seattle Times on Saturday that he was worried about the '06 elections and that he GOP would have to rally the base by using terms like "WWIII?" I hadn't seen it as of press time yesterday, but it confirms to me that my gut is always right on this type of thing.

2. I saw FOX News out an Israeli Howitzer division's secret location this morning on live TV. Bill Hemmer had actually just mentioned he couldn't state where he was since he got into trouble yesterday for it and like friggin' clockwork, the screen flashed the name of the town for 5-10 seconds. I won't mention it here since I'm not a dirty fucker who works for Fox and I don't ever want to responsible for people getting killed (unless they personally piss me off or hurt someone I care about). But here's my question, why is Fox the only news service presently embedded in the Israeli military? And how did they manage to get that much manpower and equipment there so quickly? And get a coordinated message with Newt and the rest of those no-dicked mutherfuckers? And anyone know how to get the video???

3. A good friend of mine commented today that he was surprised at Congress passing the Internet gaming statute last week prohibiting the use of a credit card for online gaming (but exempting horse racing?). He's pissed. He's a lifelong Republican (yes, I still love him) and he says he's done with the party. It's no longer a "conservative" party in his eyes, but hell, I've been saying that for 20 years. Welcome to the light, my favorite Italian pink thong wearer.

4. John Bolton needs a fucking enema. That guy is completely full of shit. And himself. He's trying very hard to dismantle the UN (and Kofi is playing bottom again and getting ass fucked in the process. Anyone hear Bush and Blair on him yesterday? He deserves an apology from those two twits.). Yesterday, the mustachioed perv came out and said that the deaths of innocent Lebanese civilians is not morally the same as the deaths of terror victims. What kind of bullshit is that? Jon Stewart should be asking if this guy high. Since when did Bolton get the right to determine whose lives (or deaths) are more important? It's that kind of uppitiness that turns me (and a lot of other people) off to the GOP thus allowing it to get raped by the Christian right.

5. I hope Ralph Reed loses. I hope Ralph Reed loses. I hope Ralph Reed loses........ I know there are some in the Democratic party that would like to see him win so they can rally the base for votes and fundraising, but I don't want that guy anywhere near a position of power. I hope he and Grover Norquist both get audited by the IRS and sent to a not so shi-shi penitentiary where they get ass raped by a toothless mulatto named Tito. It's the least they deserve for fucking voters and honest Americans for so long with their hold-up schemes designed to make them rich and divide this nation.

6. I also hope that Holy Joe seriously loses it on live TV soon. He's such a tool. It's like he has played politics for so long that he forgot what his principles were. I want everyone else to see that before the primary election and I want him to be able to replay it over and over again like that play where Joe Thiesman broke his leg. I saw that and to this day the replays (all 19 of them) stick in my mind. I want it to stick in his mind that he lost his way. That he sold out his supporters. That he became that which he once, as a young impassioned candidate for office despised a politician with deep-rooted sense of entitlement. I want him to know why he lost. And I want him to feel that pain and that sorrow for wasting his life and sullying his previous accomplishments. I want him to get this point: That no one is ever entitled to an elected office. Never. Ever. Not even him.

7. I want to see that video of Bush groping the female German chancellor on the evening news. I want women voters to be disgusted with that pig and thus, themselves for voting for him. You fucking self-hating pussies.

That's my rant so far for today. Now get back to work. Or looking at porn.

I'm Starting to Think Every Neocon Has A Tiny Dick

....and is stooopid as all git out.

After last weekend's fantastic edition of Meet The Press, I thought I'd try it again yesterday. Oh, boy. Was it a groaner from word "go."

It was seriously fucking surreal- Newt "Just Blow Me Bitch 'Cos That Ain't Cheatin'" Gingrich was calling the skirmish between Israel and well---let's face it---everybody else, World War III. WTF??? Is he mental or just too damn focused on making people scared so they'll vote for his sorry, pimply ass for preznit in '08? He knows damn well it isn't WWIII. He's just saying it to rile up the troops for the midterm elections in less than 4 months. Get 'em nice and scared and they'll fall nicely into that goosestep the neocons love so much. What? Has he already hired Karl Rove as his campaign adviser? At least Joe Biden, even as big of a pussy as he is, said Newt was full of it. With "it" meaning shit.

Then there's Bill Kristol trying his crap on Fox yesterday and Juan Williams calling him out as a warmonger. Watch it courtesy of Crooksandliars.com here. I mean, fuck, he has the temerity to actually call for invading Iran and Syria. Has he any idea had decimated our military is right now? Or the fact that the Pentagon and Halliburton are at serious odds over Cheney and Co.'s underwhelming performance in logistics and the rebuilding of Iraq. For fucksake, they can't even get clean drinking water or unspoiled food to our troops at the rate of $80B a person. Now, we'll try to fight a four front war in the middle of the sandbox with hostiles on every side and have to rely on them??? I don't fucking think so.

Billy's been watching "High Noon" too many fucking times. Grace Kelly isn't going to appear and shoot a guy in the back to save the sheriff this time around. And his dick isn't going to get any bigger by sending young men and women into certain death so his stock options and Sunday morning roundtable dance card gets filled out. Billy needs to come in from the heat and find a nice virgin that doesn't know that his dick is small by comparison with real men who don't have to send out boys to fight their imaginary battles for them.

Then there's Rush "My Dick Doesn't Work At All" Limbaugh sputtering on about getting on with the business of invading Syria and Iran since we've planned to do it this whole time. He generalizes the entire conflict as being a religious crusade. What a fucking moron. (It's a bit more than that you child fucker, you. Smoke another stogie if it gets the taste of virgin blood out of your mouth, you anal cyst fuckwad. I seriously hate Rush Limbaugh. He's so full of shit, and he knows it, but he enjoys the powertrip he gets from all the goosestepping Dittoheads. The guy's so full of shit, his dick won't get up and rather than filling a script in his own name he has to hide it for fear that someone might know and he might get embarrassed??? Bullshit. He's a fucking drug addict hypocrite who goes to a foreign nation known for its child sex slave trade with a full bottle of Viagra. That's too fucking perfect. What? A real woman too much for you, you fat bastard? So you have to fuck kids now?!?) I haven't seen rabbis and Muslim clerics out in force with flakjackets on and carrying their respective religious texts as shields, have you?

Okay. Sorry I digressed for a minute there, but I really do hate that stooopid fucker.

Then there's Frank "Call Me Mike Tyson" Keating getting his lame ass groove on on Fox this AM. He tried to reduce the Israeli conflict to being solely above Muslim extremism. (Nice, Frank, but you know that's not true.) Why didn't he mention Jewish exteremists, too? Why did they have him- a former Okie governor who has a well-known animus to brown people and former FBI agent with no experience in Middle Eastern affairs- on TV? He knows as much about the Middle East as he does about keeping his mouth shut at important moments or what it's like to be tall. My guess, is he's angling for a Veep nomination in a couple of years and has to start now to catch up to the pack since as a DC lobbyist he can't go out in the sunlight. Fox News can sure help there since they don't care if whatever talking asshat they're interviewing short ass creep or not (see Bill Kristol also).

Here's my point- these idiots aren't doing anything more than shaking the bars on their cages. Unfortunately, that rattle is what wakes up the Neocon base and makes them vote. It's the same thing as that fucking color code alert shit. Raise it a notch and stooopid people start pissing themselves.

If we were smart, we'd stay the hell out of this one. We'd apply the same moral principals to Israel as we do say... Russia. For example, Cheney just recently called out Putin for putting down an uprising and suspending elections (anyone else see the Cold War ghosts resurrecting themselves, yet???), but he (and this means the US) didn't say shit about Israel killing a bunch of innocent Arabs and Palestinians sunning themsleves on a beach with artillery fire. One is considered heavy-handed and contrary to democracy while the other is self-protectionist. Frankly, I don't see a difference. It's all bad shit. It's just one is a traditional enemy and the other is a traditional parasite with ties to religious and political leaders in this country. When are we going to stop defending the little smartass on the block who keeps picking fights?? At some point, that boy needs his ass whooped. At least that's the way I see it.

I used to be very pro-Israel until I found out what the hell the government and military have been up to for the last 40+ years. In some ways, they make Saddam look like Mr. Fucking Rogers. It's sooooooo seriously not pretty. And the extremists controlling things right now for the Israelis are all too happy to assassinate any leader that looks like he's about to agree to a lasting peace with the Palestinians. Why? Because they make a lot of money with the paramilitary industrial complex and some imaginary god tells them to. Remember Rabin? Close to a peace accord and then gets shot. Remember Sharon?? They blew up his brain when he started giving back Gaza and the West Bank by removing squatters. And now, Hamas releases a written document actually recognizing Israel as a soveriegn state and this shit happens? It's not a goddamn coincidence.

Face it. There are people there, people in power, who do not want peace in the Middle East. Why should we jump in there to save them? Because some yahoo Baptist's god is the same as a bagel and lox guy in Nazareth's?? I don't fucking think so.

And as for Hezbollah...Christ. Their leader is a fucking nutjob. I mean certifiable. And it's sad that otherwise reasonable men and women now state their allegience to Hezbollah (or Israel) because they overreact to things purposefully designed to stall the peace process. That kind of shit is called manipulation. They're all being manipulated, but rather than stepping back and saying "screw you" to the manipulators, they act like a bunch of tools.

Hezbollah is a tool. But they are a very powerful and very financially secure tool of some powermad, tribal types. And yes, I do mean tribal types because it's not just about religion. That's part of it, but a lot of it is shit like so-and-so killed my father's father's father's father. Or so-and-so took my great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather's land. Sorry, but lots of people in just about every culture have lost land to someone else. How do you think the Indians feel here? And they had a lot more of it. And it's a lot prettier, too. Your's might have oil, but ours has water, and trees, and rich soil and not so many rocks and mine fields. They should be a lot more pissed than you, but they're not. Hezbollah has nothing to lose and a lot of men an estimated 20-25K armed and trained troops) to throw at becoming a bigger over and shaker in the region. This thing is a win-win for them in their minds.

So we're dealing with tools and crazy fuckers. Not a good mixture for a successful resolution IMHO. We should step the fuck back and let the UN try to negotiate a cease fire. It's not our job and it's a job for which we are presently ill-equipped. Let's also not forget that it's pretty hard to take the moral highground in this and claim we're unbiased when we underwrite the Israeli occupation and our most well-known spokesmen for the government and the GOP are rattling their dull sabres like Parkinson's patients on caffeine. Plus, as incoherent as they are, try listening to Dubya. Our f-ing Preznit talks with his potty mouth full. Think anyone can understand him? I can understand my two year old nephew better and he still says goo-goo, ga-ga.

Seriously, we're talking about Newt Gingrich, Bill Kristol, Rush Limbaugh and Frank Keating. Does anyone think of these guys as having a big dick...or a dick at all? Or having what would amount to a dick collectively? I don't think so. They have a hard on for Iran (just like Iraq) because of old grudges (starting to sound like the Israeli-Palestinian conflict yet?) and want someone else to carry the burden just like Vietnam when they avoided service. Notice that not single one of them ever served in the military? That's not a coincidence. I promise you. They talk all fucking macho-like, but in truth- they're hollow shells of men and they know it. It's just they're so in love with power or being close to power that they're willing to sell us and anyone else they can down the river. Why do we listen to them as a nation? Are we fucking retarded? If so, count me out of the Special Olympics, baby, 'cos I'm short on the extra DNA.

I say we finally call "bullshit" and elect some new folks that haven't repeatedly ass raped us yet. At least we'll have a fighting chance unlike a drunk Tri Delt at a roofie convention. And while we're at it, we should change the channel on fuckers like Rush and Billy Boy. They don't deserve the bully pulpit since they're yellow-bellied-tiny-dicked-pussies. We've got more intelligent shit to watch like "Raising the Roofs."

I'm Impressed

Sunday is my big TV day. I watch multiple TiVo'd episodes of Malcolm in the Middle or Mama's Family much to my hubby's chagrin. I also watch a lot of political stuff. Last night was no different. I caught Meet the Press late last night on MSNBC and for once I didn't want to blow chunks. Russert actually had some intelligent guests with some friggin' real knowledge about the subject they were discussing. Yesterday's show was devoted in great part to a frank discussion about North Korea and what it will take to reign in that freaky handed Kim Jong Il.

Russert had Bob Galluci, Ashton Carter and Bill Richardson on to discuss their knowledge and opinions about how to approach the issue of an increasingly nuclear North Korea. OMG.

It was enlightening. It was fresh, and it was extremely candid about when and where the US has gone wrong in its foreign policy with NK and what we can do to fix it.

My favorite part (hit. I actually have a favorite part) was the portion of the discussion wherein Galluci, Richardson and Carter discussed a six nation approach vs. one-on-one talks. The point about the necessity of bilateral discussions was amazingly cogent. Here's the transcript on the whole show. If you like big brains as much as I do, you'll be creaming your jeans over this one.

Tim almost screwed it up a couple of times like when he tried to get the guests to slam Bill Clinton and Madeline Albright (they didn't fall for it). Tim's best part was just staying out of the way of these big brains as they discussed Korean culture and its preference for form over function and KJI's seemingly crazy antics. I was left a bit flushed at the end and wondering if Tim had shut up completely whether or not these guys would have more fully discussed KJI's motives in his missiles tests last week in relation to China and Japan ( I personally suspect the launch was meant to antagonize us into allowing a light water reactor as Galluci alleged, but that it was also meant to further align itself with China against the US so they could get bigger handouts and become part of China's industrialization movement).

In hindsight, this week's Meet the Press had more to do with showing how very different the Clinton and Bush administrations are when it comes to foreign policy. Clinton was commanding. He had great personnel whom he avidly listened to. Bush plays commander. He's a bull in a china shop who doesn't understand how his macho cowboy antics actually send the wrong message to people like KJI who look for the most minute signs to spur them on in their lunacy. If Bush ever stopped to really learn about the cultures of the people he with whom he was dealing, he might be more successful. For all his staff knows about spinning stooopid Amerikans, they know shit about Koreans, Iraqis, Afghanis, Russians, Chinese, Mexicans, Canadians, British.....

I know most Amerikans can't stand a guy with a brain being in the WH, but damnit- we need one. The brain deficit in the WH is causing serious problems and whoever we elect in 2008 has to understand the nuance of foreign policy and economics in order to clean up with this turd burglar has done.

Tim, Tweety and the rest of the Sunday morning hosts have a duty to help us understand these issues better and to help us find a candidate who at least knows (or whats to know) the difference between Sunni and Shiite before he launches a massive invasion of a sovereign nation.

Are You Getting That Ominous Feeling, Too?

Every once in a while my head goes into shut down mode. It's there right now. Partly a combination of recovering from my broken leg (much better BTW), not working fulltime, not being active, paying these fucking medical bills, and the long holiday weekend. I can usually get myself jump started with a bit of fun music or a good book, but right now I'm just sorta creeped out by the news.

There's a perfect storm brewing.

Unfortunately, we don't have George Clooney captaining the ship, and we're stuck with those buttfuckers we have in Congress and the White House right now.

Here's my take on it:

While they've been busy gutting meaningful ethics rules changes (you know- the ones that say "you shouldn't take bribes or else"), playing look at the fuzzy monkey with the gay marriage ban and flag burning amendments and xenophobic racist anti-immigration bills, and having hearings on steroids:

*Iraq has blown up into full on civil war with the US forces as occupiers who rape and murder innocent Iraqis
*North Korea's Kim Jong Il decided he was mad at Bush for taking the Japanese PM to Graceland and not extending an invite his way so he figured he lob a few missiles into the Sea of Japan
*Iran shrugs off meaningless deadlines to accept the offer for peace talks (who can blame them? Bush is trying to get a working plan together to bomb the shit out of them for essentially nothing)
*Israel and Hamas are playing chicken with 6+ million people in the middle
*Afghanistan yielding the largest opium crops ever while the Taliban reasserts itself everywhere but Kabul,
*Natural disasters such as flooding, wildfires and global warming abound
*Gas prices and consumption continue to rise
*Foreclosures are on the rise
*Unemployment is still up
* And a still devastated NOLA tries to identify dozens of bodies, and rebuild with little or no help from the federal government


These things can't keep coming with no real response (or mature response) from the White House. Something is going to give. And it won't be some dam in Pennsylvania.