Balls of the Week Award

I'm starting a new tradition this week: Balls of the Week Award. The Balls of the Week Award is designed to recognize people (or businesses) who do the right thing in spite of the risk of adverse reaction by the NRA card-carrying Freepers. The ability to stand up the Establishment is a character trait I highly admire. This Inaugural Award will go to two worthy candidates this week as I clearly see it is an old-fashioned tie.

So this week, major props go out to Kraft Foods for their support of the Gay Games and to Texas House of Representatives' member Senfronia Thompson. Rep. Thompson is a fellow Houstonian with a huge set of nads who made an impassioned speech on the floor of the Texas legislature after those asshats decided to use sexual orientation as an excuse to make children homeless and were on the verge of taking away same-sex partners protections privided by contract in the State of Texas. Show your support for Kraft and Rep. Thompson by going to the Kraft comments site and Rep. Thompson's webpage. Let them know they aren't alone in confronting the evil of the Freepers and that their efforts are appreciated and respected.

Third place goes to Congressman Walter Jones for finally getting with the program after having supported the war in Iraq. Congressman, just know that you cannot undo what you did by voting for that ignorant and self-serving excuse for a war on terror. Those pictures on that wall outside your office of the fallen are their due to your decision not to be informed and dance to the nationlistic tunes of Bush and Co..

Microsoft gets no props for firing Ralph Reed since they screwed the pooch by withdrawing their support for anti-bigotry legislation. Maybe Bill can make it up to us by giving more money to fight poverty and disease throughtout the world.

These Fuckers Are Stepping Over the Line

Okay. Item No. 2 to piss me off today.Now, some asshat thinks he gets to tell divorcing parents what religion these parents can expose their children to. [Religion wasn't an issue in the custody trial.]

(Yeah, I know. I can get a bar complaint. So sue me. Do something about those fuckers in Texas and D.C. saying judges ought to be killed first before whoopin' up on me for understanding what the fucking First Amendment is without the black robe.)

Turd fuckers.

Gotta Love Those Red Staters

The KKK is alive and well in a state that voted for George Bush.

Need I say anything more?

Ain't Nobody Happy If Momma's Not Happy

So yesterday, John McCain and a couple of other not-worthies hammered together a deal about Bush's Sucky Seven and the fillibuster. There will be a vote for most of them, but not all. Saad's still going to be sucking wind due to a bad FBI report. It's not the best deal for either side, but it will have to work. I think I would have taken the chance on them voting on the nuclear option. I don't think the Repugs had the votes, but this will work- for now.

All the other blogs and news sites are popping with complaints about the Republicans entering into this agreement with the Democrats. Reverend "I'm a Fag, Yer a Fag, Wouldn't you Like to Be A Faggot Too?" Dobson is pissed. His rage is palpable. His ire is raised and damnit, he's not giving you guys anymore money until you lose those limp wrists. He's taking you out because you didn't deliver a SCOTUS opportunity of a lifetime- the right to invade other people's bodies without paying the $20 bucks. Whaa-fucking-whaaaaaa.

I saw this quote and to me it proves how stoo-pid these assholes are:

"Under this agreement it is now more likely that radical social change will continue to be forced on the American people by liberal courts committed to same sex marriage, abortion on demand and hostility to religious expression. The Republicans who lent their names to this travesty have undercut their President as well as millions of their most loyal voters. Shame on them all."- Gary Bauer former Presidential nominee

Radical change? Forcing people to commit to their will. Sorry, Charlie- sounds like the Bill Frist fillibuster plan. And at least get your facts straight. Like I have pointed out before: there is no anti-Christian agenda. I would know if there were secret meetings because someone would want my sorry white ass there to strap a flatulence bomb to me right before the Baptist Easter pagent. Look, build a monument to a dead guy if you want. Just don't do it on public land with public money. Don't be a cheap ass mutherfucker. You can afford it after long days spent oppressing the rest of us at the gas pumps and hiding your money offshore. Buy a few acres and some sticks and a rope and build one of them hangy things. It's still a free fucking country. And for the record, the only reason I am against evangelical Christian expression is because these busybody whiners piss me off and waste my time with their Chicken Little, Woe Is Me antics. If they'd shut the fuck up, I'd never bitch about them.

And as far as same sex marriage. WTF? First, homos are bad because they're promiscuous and suck off lots of different people, but now that they want to remain mongomous and seal the contract with a kiss, they're bad because they cheapen marriage???? Sorry, if the logic escapes me. It's just bullshit bigotry. I look at straight married folks and see some sick ass sons of bitchs. There Liz Taylor, Donald Trump and his teenie bopper of the week, then there's Newt Gingrich who left a dying woman, that doctor who fucked his wife in the ass against her wishes (who doesn't like the morning after pill BTW), Roger Stone and his swinger ads....Look, I do divorce work. A lot. Straight people cheapen marriage enough on their own, Jane and Jill, or Jack and Bill won't cause any further problems. And believe it or not, they might actually teach the rest of us breeders how to do it with a little panache.

And now we get to the big one that really pisses me off and makes me want to scream bloody murder- abortion. Yeah, the judicial debate was and will always be about abortion. I'll tell the truth on that one. The right-to-lifers think they own the monopoly on what life is and when it begins (or ends). They don't and never have. You cannot say you support the culture of life by being anti-abortion and simultaneously being pro death penalty. The two ideas are not compatible. As for the "on demand" notion. Let's get this straight- it's not on demand and never has been. It's not a fucking movie on Showtime or WWF Wrestle Mania. There are rules and regulations that have been reached as a compromise so women would not die of infection due to back room butchers. Sure, the first trimester is pretty much fair game, but after that (thanks to some BS antiquated idea about quickening), there are lots of rules. It's also expensive and if it weren't for assholes like Randall Terry shouting baby killer and tossing blood on women walking out of their doctors' offices, it wouldn't be nearly as heartbreaking. Abortion is a woman's choice (and her burden) and the day one of those faggot ass faggot Christian boys can carry a child up in his chachi is the day he gets to say anything about it at all. Until then, he should shut his faggot ass the fuck up. And any lawyer who gets the privilege to don a black robe ought to known better and stay out of personal decisions of others.

I don't tell them what lube to use on the Rev they shouldn't tell me if I can hook a Hoover up to my cootch. 'Nuff said.

*Okay. Deep breath now......*

The judge fight is a bad one for a lot of reasons that, frankly, don't make sense. The right wingnuts and Freepers have got it all wrong. I wish the Cold War had never ended so that they wouldn't have so much time to think about the rest of us. I believe that if these judges pass it will just spur more cannibalization of our society by the wingnuts and Freepers. They are bound and determined to destroy everything they touch including our Democracy in an effort to homogenize our society. They don't see the beauty in pluralism. They only see what is dangled in front of them by their cult leaders like Ole Rev Dobson.

And as long as their momma ain't happy, they ain't happy.

Just don't surprised when they start shooting Senators, Congressmen, reporters, judges and people like me who don't give a shit if they're happy and only care that they shaddup.

Did Someone Step in Doo Doo?

This will be a short post. I've got a long trial week, but wanted to get some things off my chest. First and foremost, WTF is with Condaskeeza and the BS trip to Iraq? And the speech on a "freedom deficit" causing 9-11? Will someone give her a piss test quick because she definitely is smoking some shit if she can say that with a straight face. For a woman as learned as she to lie so completely about the root causes of 9-11 makes me want to cut out my own ovaries and move to Saudi Arabia. What a fucking stoopid bitch.....

Then there are some more stoooooooo-pid people out there bitching about King and King. There are people in the Oklahoma legislature actually talking about taking away library funding because........ heavens! There is a book about gay men made for kids in the children's lit area of an OKC library. Guys, get a life and stop reading those Focus on the Family talking points memos.

Oh, and finally- one of the dumbest things I've ever heard on two fronts. First, someone made lollipops that taste like the Chronic. And two, someone's bitching about it. Hell, even a local news channel had a former addict (face hidden in shadows of course because he was saying something so completely moronic he didn't want anyone to know who he was) complaining it will get kids hooked on pot. I say- fuck you idiots. Someone should have killed you at birth if you really believe that shit. How about bitching about NASCAR having Budweiser and Busch and Miller as sponsors? Drinking is far more addictive and destructive than smoking a little bit of sticky buds, ordering a pizza and watching Spongebob. Oh, wait... that's right Spongebob is gay. Darnnit!

These idiots stink. They may want to check their shoes at the door.

NEWS ALERT!!!! There is a Democrat with Balls in D.C.

If I weren't married, I'd be on my knees asking Senator Harry Reid to marry my sorry white ass. Why? Because he has the biggest balls ever. And he's a Democrat. That, my friends, is a rare fucking animal.

I spent the better part of the morning watching Ted Kennedy blast Bush's Sucky Seven judicial nominees on CSPAN. He did a good job of framing why the Dems won't approve the Sucky Seven and how many Senate rules will have to be broken in 8 different ways just to eliminate the fillibuter rule, but he didn't walk into Frist house and bitchslap him like Reid did. He called out Bill Frist and called the preznit a sorry ass loser. And for weeks, he's been pointing out the Repugs behave like a bunch of spoiled brats (go figure- it's the private schools I tell you). He asked Bill Frist to call for the vote on the nuclear option and Frist has yet to do as he has been threatening. Instead he says it will be next week. And- now it is getting interesting because John McCain is trying to enter the fray and appear like he's a peacemaker in this deal and stating that Reid will back down. I call some serious bullshit on these dickheads. He's got no reason to relent in this game of political chicken.

First, Bill "Kitty Killer" Frist doesn't have the votes to end the age old fillibuster rule or he'd have done it already. So there's nothing for Reid to lose there.

Second, Frist doesn't want to pull out the nuclear option. He KNOWS it's a bad idea. He's being forced to by Karl Rove. Still nothing to lose there.

Third, this whole thing is a shill for the real reason they (read: White House) want the fillibuster gone- they want Clarence "Whitebread" Thomas or Nino Scalia to take over for Rhenquist and they'd never get the 60 votes on either of those guys. With the fillibuster alive they'd have to pick someone more moderate like O'Connor or Kennedy. Oh, heavens! That'd make those Christians real mad! And the more they scream, the better Reid and the Dems look. But seriously- it's bad enough they are on the Court, but as CJ????

Fourth, John McCain is a smarmy, pencil-dicked, fuck head with balls the size of maggots. He hates Bush but needs to get some mileage out of something soon so he can get back in the press if he stands a chance in '08. What's better than trying to look like a moderate compared to those damn liberals and the Republican extremists? In my world that's called bullshit. McCain wants a free ride and in return is selling out his so-called values (I would have voted for the fucker before but not now- I hope he rots in hell now for being a complete fucking sellout). Letting McCain hang himself is good for the Dems because it just proves that all GOPers are extremists in one way or another. Count that as mucho good come '06 for the Dems.

Fifth, Reid knows he can milk this for mileage. He's got the numbers on his side and after the Terry the Turnip and Tom DeLay epsiodes, Frist (who wants to be our next preznit) and the others Repugs are hurting image wise. They can't afford to look like the playground bullies.

Sixth, Dubya gets to take out all the people who might hurts Jeb's chances in '08 (Oh, I know he says he's not running, but if that were the case why are his pit bulls still attacking John Kerry and Hillary Clinton?). Why should Reid make the GOP's job easier? The GOPers that vote for this will have serious political baggage when they go up for re-election and that will be a good thing for all Dems.

And Seventh (Get it??? One reason for each of the Sucky Seven nominees), if the Repugs can keep this issue alive with Rev. "I See Spongebob's Ercetion"Dobson, they get more money/votes from their base and that's not so bad because everytime some asshole like Dobson, Robertson or Falwell opens their mouth, they make Dems look sooooooo much better. Not to mention saner.

Yes, Reid's got some seriously large nuts. But hell, with the polls on your side and the Republicans squandering political capital for Tommy Boy, Terry the Turnip and SS privitization, you would, too.

P.S. Chuck Hagel must be going through puberty because his appear to be dropping.

Political Truisms (Or Can't They see the Writing on the Wall?)

I watch entirely too much TV on Sundays. It's my day to veg out and not have to catch up on everything I couldn't get done during the week. Part of my TV routine is the Sunday morning political shows mixed with a healthy dose of the 24 cable news variety hours. Combine that with a fair amount of reading and I have finally been able to distill a few truisms that I will pass on to any political type who may come across my blog. Thusly:

1. If you have to pay for a PR campaign to bolster your nominees' chances, chances are those nominees weren't worthy of the post to begin with.

2. Americans do really believe in a smaller government. Just so long as it is smaller in the areas that aren't important to them.

3. People really can smell bullshit. Grinning only makes matters worse.

4. As the saying goes- you are what you eat. Well, in politics, that translates into you are who you associate with.

5. The age old argument that if someone disagrees with you they should come up with a better plan is ludicrous, but, sadly, many morons will buy it.

6. Don't ever, ever, ever make a huge proclamation without something to back it up. If the job's not done, don't say it is. It only provides fodder for your critics. For eternity.

7. People only care about your sex lives under one (or more) of the following circumstances: 1) you are good looking and/or your partner is not; 2) it involves something weird like animals or inflatable sex toys, role paying, or B&D; and 3) if you are paying for it (directly or indirectly). They really care if you are Brad Pitt, she's the circus fat lady and you are allowing her to dry hump you while you are chained to a toilet wearing a pig mask and she inflates a Butt Blaster in your pasty white ass as you say "Thank you, Mommy." And you're paying her for it.

8. The idea of a Balanced Budget Amendment should not be used to just get votes. Either walk the walk or get the fuck out. People don't like huge piles of debt.

9. The use of the race card is passe, but gender is still acceptable especially in terms of defense. Think Rambo would have been so successful if he would have had a pair of D cups and scheduled a weekly mani-pedi?

10. Party branding works. Ex.- most people think the Republicans are the party of smaller government and controlled spending still. Why? Branding. That's why. So, say it often enough and people internalize it. My bologna has a first name......

Any others?