I'm Starting to Think Every Neocon Has A Tiny Dick

....and is stooopid as all git out.

After last weekend's fantastic edition of Meet The Press, I thought I'd try it again yesterday. Oh, boy. Was it a groaner from word "go."

It was seriously fucking surreal- Newt "Just Blow Me Bitch 'Cos That Ain't Cheatin'" Gingrich was calling the skirmish between Israel and well---let's face it---everybody else, World War III. WTF??? Is he mental or just too damn focused on making people scared so they'll vote for his sorry, pimply ass for preznit in '08? He knows damn well it isn't WWIII. He's just saying it to rile up the troops for the midterm elections in less than 4 months. Get 'em nice and scared and they'll fall nicely into that goosestep the neocons love so much. What? Has he already hired Karl Rove as his campaign adviser? At least Joe Biden, even as big of a pussy as he is, said Newt was full of it. With "it" meaning shit.

Then there's Bill Kristol trying his crap on Fox yesterday and Juan Williams calling him out as a warmonger. Watch it courtesy of Crooksandliars.com here. I mean, fuck, he has the temerity to actually call for invading Iran and Syria. Has he any idea had decimated our military is right now? Or the fact that the Pentagon and Halliburton are at serious odds over Cheney and Co.'s underwhelming performance in logistics and the rebuilding of Iraq. For fucksake, they can't even get clean drinking water or unspoiled food to our troops at the rate of $80B a person. Now, we'll try to fight a four front war in the middle of the sandbox with hostiles on every side and have to rely on them??? I don't fucking think so.

Billy's been watching "High Noon" too many fucking times. Grace Kelly isn't going to appear and shoot a guy in the back to save the sheriff this time around. And his dick isn't going to get any bigger by sending young men and women into certain death so his stock options and Sunday morning roundtable dance card gets filled out. Billy needs to come in from the heat and find a nice virgin that doesn't know that his dick is small by comparison with real men who don't have to send out boys to fight their imaginary battles for them.

Then there's Rush "My Dick Doesn't Work At All" Limbaugh sputtering on about getting on with the business of invading Syria and Iran since we've planned to do it this whole time. He generalizes the entire conflict as being a religious crusade. What a fucking moron. (It's a bit more than that you child fucker, you. Smoke another stogie if it gets the taste of virgin blood out of your mouth, you anal cyst fuckwad. I seriously hate Rush Limbaugh. He's so full of shit, and he knows it, but he enjoys the powertrip he gets from all the goosestepping Dittoheads. The guy's so full of shit, his dick won't get up and rather than filling a script in his own name he has to hide it for fear that someone might know and he might get embarrassed??? Bullshit. He's a fucking drug addict hypocrite who goes to a foreign nation known for its child sex slave trade with a full bottle of Viagra. That's too fucking perfect. What? A real woman too much for you, you fat bastard? So you have to fuck kids now?!?) I haven't seen rabbis and Muslim clerics out in force with flakjackets on and carrying their respective religious texts as shields, have you?

Okay. Sorry I digressed for a minute there, but I really do hate that stooopid fucker.

Then there's Frank "Call Me Mike Tyson" Keating getting his lame ass groove on on Fox this AM. He tried to reduce the Israeli conflict to being solely above Muslim extremism. (Nice, Frank, but you know that's not true.) Why didn't he mention Jewish exteremists, too? Why did they have him- a former Okie governor who has a well-known animus to brown people and former FBI agent with no experience in Middle Eastern affairs- on TV? He knows as much about the Middle East as he does about keeping his mouth shut at important moments or what it's like to be tall. My guess, is he's angling for a Veep nomination in a couple of years and has to start now to catch up to the pack since as a DC lobbyist he can't go out in the sunlight. Fox News can sure help there since they don't care if whatever talking asshat they're interviewing short ass creep or not (see Bill Kristol also).

Here's my point- these idiots aren't doing anything more than shaking the bars on their cages. Unfortunately, that rattle is what wakes up the Neocon base and makes them vote. It's the same thing as that fucking color code alert shit. Raise it a notch and stooopid people start pissing themselves.

If we were smart, we'd stay the hell out of this one. We'd apply the same moral principals to Israel as we do say... Russia. For example, Cheney just recently called out Putin for putting down an uprising and suspending elections (anyone else see the Cold War ghosts resurrecting themselves, yet???), but he (and this means the US) didn't say shit about Israel killing a bunch of innocent Arabs and Palestinians sunning themsleves on a beach with artillery fire. One is considered heavy-handed and contrary to democracy while the other is self-protectionist. Frankly, I don't see a difference. It's all bad shit. It's just one is a traditional enemy and the other is a traditional parasite with ties to religious and political leaders in this country. When are we going to stop defending the little smartass on the block who keeps picking fights?? At some point, that boy needs his ass whooped. At least that's the way I see it.

I used to be very pro-Israel until I found out what the hell the government and military have been up to for the last 40+ years. In some ways, they make Saddam look like Mr. Fucking Rogers. It's sooooooo seriously not pretty. And the extremists controlling things right now for the Israelis are all too happy to assassinate any leader that looks like he's about to agree to a lasting peace with the Palestinians. Why? Because they make a lot of money with the paramilitary industrial complex and some imaginary god tells them to. Remember Rabin? Close to a peace accord and then gets shot. Remember Sharon?? They blew up his brain when he started giving back Gaza and the West Bank by removing squatters. And now, Hamas releases a written document actually recognizing Israel as a soveriegn state and this shit happens? It's not a goddamn coincidence.

Face it. There are people there, people in power, who do not want peace in the Middle East. Why should we jump in there to save them? Because some yahoo Baptist's god is the same as a bagel and lox guy in Nazareth's?? I don't fucking think so.

And as for Hezbollah...Christ. Their leader is a fucking nutjob. I mean certifiable. And it's sad that otherwise reasonable men and women now state their allegience to Hezbollah (or Israel) because they overreact to things purposefully designed to stall the peace process. That kind of shit is called manipulation. They're all being manipulated, but rather than stepping back and saying "screw you" to the manipulators, they act like a bunch of tools.

Hezbollah is a tool. But they are a very powerful and very financially secure tool of some powermad, tribal types. And yes, I do mean tribal types because it's not just about religion. That's part of it, but a lot of it is shit like so-and-so killed my father's father's father's father. Or so-and-so took my great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather's land. Sorry, but lots of people in just about every culture have lost land to someone else. How do you think the Indians feel here? And they had a lot more of it. And it's a lot prettier, too. Your's might have oil, but ours has water, and trees, and rich soil and not so many rocks and mine fields. They should be a lot more pissed than you, but they're not. Hezbollah has nothing to lose and a lot of men an estimated 20-25K armed and trained troops) to throw at becoming a bigger over and shaker in the region. This thing is a win-win for them in their minds.

So we're dealing with tools and crazy fuckers. Not a good mixture for a successful resolution IMHO. We should step the fuck back and let the UN try to negotiate a cease fire. It's not our job and it's a job for which we are presently ill-equipped. Let's also not forget that it's pretty hard to take the moral highground in this and claim we're unbiased when we underwrite the Israeli occupation and our most well-known spokesmen for the government and the GOP are rattling their dull sabres like Parkinson's patients on caffeine. Plus, as incoherent as they are, try listening to Dubya. Our f-ing Preznit talks with his potty mouth full. Think anyone can understand him? I can understand my two year old nephew better and he still says goo-goo, ga-ga.

Seriously, we're talking about Newt Gingrich, Bill Kristol, Rush Limbaugh and Frank Keating. Does anyone think of these guys as having a big dick...or a dick at all? Or having what would amount to a dick collectively? I don't think so. They have a hard on for Iran (just like Iraq) because of old grudges (starting to sound like the Israeli-Palestinian conflict yet?) and want someone else to carry the burden just like Vietnam when they avoided service. Notice that not single one of them ever served in the military? That's not a coincidence. I promise you. They talk all fucking macho-like, but in truth- they're hollow shells of men and they know it. It's just they're so in love with power or being close to power that they're willing to sell us and anyone else they can down the river. Why do we listen to them as a nation? Are we fucking retarded? If so, count me out of the Special Olympics, baby, 'cos I'm short on the extra DNA.

I say we finally call "bullshit" and elect some new folks that haven't repeatedly ass raped us yet. At least we'll have a fighting chance unlike a drunk Tri Delt at a roofie convention. And while we're at it, we should change the channel on fuckers like Rush and Billy Boy. They don't deserve the bully pulpit since they're yellow-bellied-tiny-dicked-pussies. We've got more intelligent shit to watch like "Raising the Roofs."