Sorry, Aerosmith. I Just Couldn't Resist

Here's my stab today at humor. Made up by 'lil ole me:

Dum, dum, dum, honey what have you done?
Dum, dum, dum it's the sound of my gun.
Dum, dum, dum, honey what have you done?
Dum, dum, dum it's the sound
Cheney's got a gunCheney's got a gun
His whole world's come undone
From lookin' straight at the sun
What did Scooter Libby do?
What did he put you through?
They said when Libby was arrested
they found him underneath a desk
But man, he had it comin'
Now that Cheney's got a gun
he ain't never gonna be the same.
Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
His dog day's just begun
Now everybody is on the run
Tell me now it's untrue.
What did Scooter Libby do?
He jacked an agent named Valerie Plame
The man has got to be insane
They say the orders he was under
the Novak and the blunder
knew that someone had to stop Miller
Run away, run away from the Fitz yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Run away run away from the Fitz yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away
Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
His dog day's just begun
Now everybody is on the run
What did scooter Libby do?
It's Cheney's last F.U.
He had to take him down easy and put a bullet in his face
He said 'cause everyone believes him.
The man had such a bad case.
He ain't never gonna plead the same.
Run away, run away from the Fitz yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah
Run away run away from the Fitz yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away
Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
Everybody is on the run
Cheney's got a gun
His dog day's just begun
Now everybody is on the run
Because Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
His dog day's just begun
Now everybody is on the run
Cheney's got a gun

Sucky Things and Not So Sucky Things

Some days there are lots of sucky things and some days there are some not so sucky things. I think today is one of those days. I woke up without a hangover which is a huge plus, but my ass was doing a Diet Pepsi impression- brown and bubbly. Then I remembered that I won a 42" big screen HDTV last night. Sweet. Then wait... I have to pick the damn thing up today.

And then there's watching my very married friend make out at the bar with a someone other than his wife last night. I like all three of them and I'm a bit offended he could not be more discreet. Simply put, people cheat. It's not right, but it's a fact of grown-up life. This guy doesn't seem to have a reason to cheat. His wife's all over his jock, she raises his grandkids and their teenager while staying trim and running his business office and the family finances. He stays out partying and now confirmed running around on her. I don't begrudge him happiness and let's face it- none of us really knows what happens behind closed doors. BUT THAT'S THE WAY IT SUPPOSED TO BE. Take the trick home, not in public where your mutual friends have to see it firsthand and therefore be made part of the whole fucked up scenario. And worse yet, he's been seeing this woman (also a friend of mine) for several years. So it's not just a pick-up. It's a family friend and an actual relationship. Ouch.

Then I saw that the gay bar hatchet guy has ties to Neo-Nazi's meaning that his crime spree was hate based, but worse than that, he shot and killed a poor cop in Arkansas. Then he shot his friend in the head before engaging in a shoot-out with more cops. WTF? Why? Who the hell raised this kid? Atilla the Hun? And who taught him it was okay to fuck with other people or their lives? Fucking proselytizing fuckers. I wonder which "group" they'll single out next. Bulemics? Intersexed people? Steelers fans with sleeveless shirts who annoy the fuck out of me?

And Betty Friedan died Saturday. I just found out. That sucks. And it sucks worse there's no one to pick up where she left off. People are too lazy, scared or disinterested in attacking real issues anymore. They'd rather just get their 15 minutes by being on "The Bachelor" or "Flavor of Love" (which BTW is creepier than shit). We need more people like her and less people like this.

And the all of this has me thinking about "My Name Is Earl" and his concept of karma. The gay bar hatchet guy deserved to die a violent death for what he did. He ended up shot all to hell by a bunch of cops. His body lying in the Arkansas road like a dead cur dog. That karma can be a real bitch.

Betty Friedan rocked. She did many important things with her life, the least of which was changing how we view the sexes and the concept of free will. She had a long wonderful life. Karma can be really kind.

Ralph Reed has been a cock sucking hypocrite his whole life. If karma is kind, maybe he'll end up in prison sucking a few uncut, frumunda cheese laced cocks of his very own. He certainly deserves to. At the very least, he should lose this election. It's just too bad karma won't go as far as to inform his Christian base that they have been tools. That they've been used for a political agenda and that no one from Ralph's crowd really gives a damn about them unless votes or money are needed somewhere. On second thought- I wonder if that's how a whore feels after being pumped full of spoo by some gnarly breathed asshat with a five dollar bill..... Oh, karma, where are you.

I hope my TV win was karma telling me I did something right finally. Or hell maybe I'll drop it on my foot tonight and have to have very painful and expensive surgeries to repair my mangled foot. And I hope for all three of my friends' sakes that the wife never finds out about her husband's bad behavior. I said karma was a bitch, but it ain't shit compared to a woman scorned.

Balls of the Week- Uno, Dos, Tres, Quatro....

These Georgetown law students so totally fucking rock.

During Gonzales' speech, the protesting students stayed standing throughout the speech. Five students stood up and wore black hoods reminiscent of ones used at Abu Ghraib. The hooded students held a banner reading the words of Benjamin Franklin: “Those who would sacrifice liberties in the name of security deserve neither.” Third-year law student Devon Chaffee, said later, “We believe that as law students, we must stand up for the rule of law over the creation of a culture of fear.”

My dean would have suspended us and black balled us from practicing law anywhere. Thank god there are some good replacements for us out there. I was afraid the profession was turning into a bunch of cyborg assholes more concerned with capital gains tax issues than our oath to uphold the Constitution.