Bah Freakin' Humbug

I'm really hating the holidays this year. I have scoffed at attending any of the dozen or so parties we've been invited to. I guess I like those people well enough, I'm just not in the Christmas spirit.

First, I'm pissed at the fucking Christian mafia here in Okieland for screwing with the holiday parade. They actually made death threats against the volunteer board who oversaw the holiday parade here. WTF?

Bastards. They're fucking great in showing their allegiance to Christ, huh? What fucking Bible are they reading? Jesus' Guide to Hate and War??? I say fuck them all in the ass and a pox upon their houses. They don't have one friggin' clue what this holiday means.

And then there's this whole constant barrage of commercials trying to sell me everything from jewelry to cards to gift certificates to electronics to clothes to supersized buttplugs. There are special early bird specials and midnight door busters. Tell you what- unless I get a rim job and a free bottle of Tuaca, my ass ain't getting out of bed to go into further debt for a fake ass holiday. Hell, make it two rim jobs...

And there's also the thing about our men and women in uniform and their families being half a world away for no good reason at all. And the poor innocent Iraqis. And the James Kim family. And the families of those three hikers on Mt. Hood. This will be a lousy holiday for them. Why should I get to enjoy myself when they're dealing with death and dismemberment and such? Why shouldn't we all feel their tragedy just a little bit?

Anyhow, I'll send some prezzies to my nieces and nephews and a few select others, but my normal list of 60+ will be whittled down to less than 20 this year. No one will notice and no one will care and I'm okay with that.

Anyhow- happy holidays and fuck the Christian mafia. May they all be fucked in the ass by huge Muslim black men named Tyrique. And may I have the Internet rights....