January 26, 2007

Collision Course, My Ass

I keep seeing these headlines talking about Bush being on a collision course with Congress. As Buttercup would say, "Whatever." The mutherfucker needs to have had fewer collision courses with brick walls when he was a young tyke. Obviously, it's made him a fucking 'tard.

I was watching CNN this morning when it dawned on me what a fucking disappointment he must be for his daddy. I bet his daddy even regrets squirting in his mama that night he was conceived in the traditional missionary style favored by 10 out of 10 WASPS. I bet he wishes he had just pulled out and gave her a real pearl necklace instead. Or better yet, maybe he should have been around more when Junior was growing up. Then maybe the little asshole wouldn't have such serious dick size issues. He'd know it's okay for a Caucasian man to have a small pecker and wouldn't have to go around headbutting his frat brothers and invading sovereign nations.

Then there's the whole daddy issue thing rearing its ugly head in the sneering face of Unca' Dick Cheney's face. (Quick! Someone inform Burgess Meredith's ghost so he can sue the piss poor excuse of a VP for ripping off his trademarked sneer.) I guess Dubya really wanted to get back at daddy dear by choosing the one asshole who hated his daddy most to listen to. Jesus. I have heard of Oedipal Complex issues but this one takes the cake. And just for the record, judging from the size of mama's knockers and Laura's too, he'd be what my best friend from law school would call a titty baby. Freak....

Anyhow, back to the collision couse shit... Nancy Pelosi and Company have his number and good 'ole Chuck Hagel is pressing redial. Speaking of Chuck, he's a major tool. No doubt about it, but he makes for good soundbites. His line about his fellow senators playing it safe and keeping their mouths and opinions to themselves on Iraq should be selling shoes is freaking priceless.

Pelosi is most awesome and I cannot wait to see the Senate step up and be what the House is becoming which is uber responsible and progressive in all the right ways. It's so nice after the do nothing Congress of yesteryear. I hope she calls his bluff and cuts off his funding. Maybe not specifically for the troops but certainly for the all the bullshit "reconstruction" pork barrel. Maybe they could cut off his Secret Service funding? He's such a chickenshit, he'd fold just to have an armed guard protect his tiny, shrivelled up pecker. And he's stooopid. He's forgotten the first rule of politics, if you're gonna challenge someone to a duel, you better have some bullets and you better shoot straight. He's got no political capital and no credibility.

He's fucked.


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