September 07, 2006

Four Days, Three Nights

I'm a bit sad. Hubbie turned 40 this morning and got on a big jet plane to Chicago. With his mother. We didn't even have birthday sex. Instead, I got a very brief, very chaste peck (partly I suspect because Mommy was standing a few feet away glaring at us for being 7 minutes late). Fortunately, he wasn't really excited about the trip. I dunno if it's because he suspects I'll have a party (I won't) or if he really just didn't want to go on a trip with his mother who has the oh so endearing habit of scheduling every last minute of a trip. (At 11:21, we will take a bathroom break for exactly 2.31 minutes. Theeeen, we'll take a cab ride for 7.1 miles to the McDonald's at 12th and Main where I'll have a cheeseburger kids' meal and you'll have....)

So for the weekend, it will be just me and the big fat Boston Terrier that steals the covers and farts audibly in my face every 7 minutes. Well, us and every damn ignorant footballer looking for a cheap parking place and a bush to piss in. (I hate football fans.) If I get bored and pissed enough, I may turn Pig on them to shit next to their cars and steal their food. Kill the crackers for Mommy.....

I seriously don't have any real plans. I had planned to do yard work, but sadly, my mower broke last night and I have to get it fixed. I know how to work on 4 cycle engines, and this one just needs a new starter cord. Problem is, the fucking designers decided to rivet the starter housing assembly to the engine and in order to access it, it'll take far more time and patience than I currently have. First, I'd have to drain the gas tank. Second, I'd have to remove the gas tank and detach the fuel line. Then I'd get to go thru the various steps of removing the engine housing altogether from the bottom to the top. It's like what the fuck were they thinking??? Now, I'll have to spend close to $150 bucks to repair the damn thing when a new mower is only $200. Fuck McLane. Their designers suck shit.

I guess I'll just strip paint from the kitchen cabinets and mop and wax the hardwood floors. Maybe if I get extra ambitious, I'll make the three quarts of fresh peach ice cream I've been planning on for the last two weeks. Well, provided the peaches are finally ripe enough and I can get Pig under control.

Shit, I used to really like living alone. I guess 5 years of marriage will do that to you. Fuck. I'm so middle aged now.

Well, with that off my chest, I better get back to work. It's going to be a long, lonely weekend.


Blogger Emptyman said...

We're both flying quasi-solo this weekend. I plan on moving into my new place and then getting shitfaced. Come on up to Baltimore and help me unpack.

10:52 AM  

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