September 25, 2006

Observations From My Broken Brain

My recurring headache is back. I believe this makes almost 3 weeks in a row. A record for me. And so painful I am thinking about breaking out all the lightbulbs in the room.

Anyhow- here goes my list of observations over the last several days:

1. The NYT and WaPo and LATimes need to get real. Of course everyone with a goddamn brain knew that invading Iraq would make terrorism worse. WTF? I don't need a leaked National Intelligence Estimate from April 2006 to tell me that. I knew that in October 2002 when the dumb mutherfucker was making noises about Saddam. I knew it on Sepetmber 11, 2001 when they couldn't find the chickenshit little fucker because he was hiding somewhere shouting about how that "bad man who tried to kill my daddy" did this.

Let's call this this the biggest "DUH" moment in the universe to date.

2. Dick Cheney shooting people in the face is still funny. There was a cartoon on last night (Family Guy I think) and they ran their take on it. Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam! It was good.

And he's still a dick.

3. Condi Rice is as interesting as styrofoam. And so is Katie Couric. Can we please just bury them both under piles of rhinoceros shit dyed pink up to their chins and let them jabber about how great the moist heat from the dung pile is for their dried wrinklely ass skin? Can we just learn to ignore them as they talk about that special dryness they get in their naughty bits thanks to The Change?

Please????? They really don't need to destroy what used to be the finest hour of TV in the land.

4. Meredith Viera is going to have a meltdown. I can't take any more fake laughter as she looks at Matt Lauer's spotty scalp or Al's shiny chins. I like Meredith okay, but they made her blonde and implanted her with the incessant giggle chip. It's like she has been taken over by the Pod People and their leader is Katie Couric a/k/a El Numero Uno Stepford Wife. I hope the paycheck is worth the hell. That and knowing Rosie's kicking serious ass.

5. There are a lot of good new series on like Jericho, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Shark, Vanished, and Standoff. There are more to come out in the next few weeks, but those are really pretty good. All of them have good actors, great production values and meaty storylines that can keep viewers interested. All of the CSI's, however, have been off. I think the producers wigged out when they heard Grey's Anatomy was throwing down the gauntlet so to speak. And as far as returning shows- the best so far are House, Criminal Minds, Without A Trace, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, My Name Is Earl and Numb3rs. Especially Numb3rs and My Name Is Earl (Beullered??? That's too good.)

Too bad Sunday nights suck shit now. Grey's needs to move back. Pronto. Ignorant fucks.

6. NBC's board of directors must have read my post because the dumbass who was in charge of programming is now gone. Kudos for knowing enough to know I was right.

7. SCI-Fi's programming director is the shit. Eureka is most awesome and I understand from my geek friends that Battlestar Gallactica or whatever is supposed to be the best show on TV this year. I don't really care for most sci-fi stuff so I'll more than likely take a pass since I'm not that much into special effects and make-up. (Just ask my friends.) Hey SCI-FI, give him/her a raise or FOX will come a-knocking.

8. The Gators rule, but the D has to start making those tackles stick the first time during the 1st half. The guy you're hitting should never be able to spin around you for an extra 3-5 yards. Nail his ass the first time as if he were Jenna Jameson and you are Dave Navarro on viagra and meth.

9. Indian food completely rocks and is great for some serious cable laying. My compliments to the chef at the newest take-out Indian place. I can't wait until they have delivery. I'll so way 500 lbs and smell like the inside of an onion crate.

10. It's hard to do an intervention with a beer in your hand.

11. Bill Clinton is still the best guy in politics. He's smart, savvy as hell and can communicate better than Ronald Regan's handlers ever pretended he could. Big Dog's ass fucking of Chris Wallace was deserved, but he was at his best on Larry King. A must watch if you have access to it. He explains the Iraq situation in 100 words or less and makes you understand what a cluster fuck it is and how bad Bush and his cronies really are without actually saying it. All you have to do is compare the messages. I'd give him a blowjob if I were ML. Hell, yeah. That man deserves one.

Anyhow, those are the Badger Lessons for the day. Go forth and fuck some shit up. Or bake cookies. I suggest snickerdoodles if you have the Cream of Tartar.



I adore Criminal Minds and I plan to try Grey's Anatomy this week. :)

7:03 PM  

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