September 15, 2006

Donkey Dicks and Other Mundane Things

Ther are times you just feel like kicking the shit out of every person who walks within a ten foot radius of you. There's no rhyme or reason to it most of the time. You're just on edge. I've got the rhyme. And I've got a reason: That asshat prezznit keeps takling over the public airwaves for bullshit drama.

I'm tired of "We're interupting your normal programming for this special news bulletin..." What is fucking special about George Bush? Wait. Never mind. I get "it." They meant "special" in that small bus kinda way. Ohhhhhh. Clever devils.

But wait. As I like to often say "WTF?"

They give him 30+ minutes every other day. Does this mean little Georgie has threatened to shit himself everyday unless he gets playtime on CBS? That would be my guess. Besides, I feel really sorry for the poor mutherfucker who has to change his di-dee. Could you image? I bet little Georgie likes to slide around in his own poo and make wall art for Barbara. Hey! Maybe he and Jenna do that together. You know? As a father-daughter bonding moment.

But I digress.

"Breaking News" tags should be used for important stuff like the stock market crashing, or a bombing of a daycare or the discovery of the world's largest donkey dick. It shouldn't be used for 'Let the Eagle Fuck You in the Ass" Ashcroft to allege terrorist activity with the Kremlin in the background (that's fucking good foreshadowing even by Dickens' standards), or for there to be some long ass segment on non-existent Miami or London-based terrorists (for crissakes- a terrorist by definition is someone who strikes terror in someone's heart- does someone w/o the requisite passport to board let alone bomb an international flight or some shoeless schlepp who takes a dumbass oath from an undercover Feeb strike terror in your heart???). Going on TV today to try and ramrod his anti-Geneva Convention BS down our throats is a waste of time, a waste of programming space and lost ad revenue and insulting to boot.

"Breaking News" tags should be used for "Man Puts Foot Up President's Ass. Karl Rove Recovering." type stories. Not "wah, wah, I want my way or I'm going to hold my breath..." crap.

There will be more of this bullshit from now until election time. Check your heads. Grab your balls. And rent plenty of DVD's at the sex shop. Hopefully, the screwing you get from the DVD's will be better than the one the voters will get in November.


Blogger Emptyman said...

When did the acceptable response to "the president is blatantly and deliberately breaking the law" become "Congress is obligated to change the law to match whatever the fuck the President wants to do"? This is how African dictatorships are governed, not the United States.

9:17 AM  

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