December 08, 2005

You Ain't My Daddy, Mutherfucker

Had one of those restless nights last night. Maybe it was the Mexican food and beer.... Anyhow, I was up from 4-7 AM watching perfectly bad TV with perfectly bad reception and trying hard not to wake up hubby with my shouting at the TV.

What had me so worked up?

Some asshole named Howard (or Harold) Weyer or whatever. He was on Anderson Cooper 360 touting it was perfectly okay for him to fire employees who smoked because they caused health costs to rise. Not only could he not present any data whatsoever that he had saved money on healthcare costs (I bet the bastard didn't as we are all getting raped on health insurance costs, etc.) but he also said he had the right to tell his employees' spouses what they could and could not do. This weasel must be a real stud to have 500 children. What did he put roofies in girls' drinks at the USO club?

Alright. There's one.

Then I saw a story on the P.A.T.R.I.O.T. Act. Stooopid fuckers are still fucking with our civil liberties. We should recall everyone of those dumb mutherfuckers in DC and make them retake high school civics...... Really? You want to know what I've checked out at the library? You want to load keystroke viruses on my PC? Fine. Well, enjoy the show as I check out every beastiality site in the world wide web and photoshop your momma's face on the sheep.

That's two.

Then there was a story about how Ford Motor Co. capitulated to the Nazi leaning American Family Association in withdrawing their support for gay advocacy groups and curtailing their advertising in gay media outlets (well except for Volvo 'cos its sounds like vulva and every good suburbanite fag has to have a Volvo for their illegally adopted, raped daily in the ass Chinese kid to ride around in- sarcasm implied). BTW- it turns out AFA is linked to a hate group in Colorado called the Family Research Institute. They espouse Nazi-like themes about gays and lesbians. Pretty freaky shit actually. I was so pissed I've actually called Ford and registered my complaint about them being a bunch of pussies. Built Ford Tough my ass.

That was three.

But then there was this bullshit puff piece about zoning out child molesters. Now granted, social science research has shown that the recidivism rates for child molesters are higher than for other crimes historically, and the media has jumped on some high profile cases in recent years because of the salacious content, but zoning out people with "sex" offenses in order to save the children? WTF??? That's nonsense. Utter bullshit. Most kiddy rapes are at the hands of family members or close family friends. Making R. Kelly move to a new neighborhood isn't going to stop short-eye syndrome. How about watching your kids dumbasses? How about running background checks on people who do work in your home? Or better yet- how about not lumping in statutory rape cases and peeing in public cases with people who sodomize 9 month olds?

That was numero quatro.

It pissed me off for the day. I hate paternalism. I hate it in every form. I may have an opinion about shit, but I still don't have the right to force you to be cardiovascularly healthier, or stalk your every move, or tell you which organizations you can support financially, or tell you you can't live in a condo with a view of the lake.

These fucking asshats have finally pissed me off enough that I may coldcock the next sonofabitch that tells me what to do (hubby included). If you want to put a Butt Blaster up your ass, go right ahead with your big self. If you want to attend XYZ Church of the Living Serpent, go for it. Not my damn business. Same thing if I want to do those things. IT'S MY FUCKING BUSINESS. YOU BUSY BODY MUTHERFUCKERS.

So, unless you paid my mother child support, pushed me from your uterus, took me in for vaccinations or teeth cleaning, stay the fuck out of my life. Don't tell me not to smoke. Don't tell me not to drink. Don't tell me I can't do it doggie style. Don't tell me who can be my neighbors. Don't tell me which causes I am allowed to support. You're not my goddamn daddy. If you were, you'd know enough to buy a cup and wear it because I wouldn't tolerate that kind of bullshit meddling from him either.


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