December 09, 2005

Happy Freakin' Holidays

This came from a friend of mine. I think it's pretty good. Enjoy.

"Jesus randomly chooses Norman, Oklahoma to anonymously visit for the HOLIDAYS. Jesus walks up to a crowd of people chanting and holding signs. Puzzled, he approaches a man waving his hands in the air and yelling to passing cars.

Jesus: Excuse me. I'm visiting from out of town, and I was just wondering, what's going on?

Man: We're protesting to prevent something that we feel is deteriorating the very fabric of our society.

Jesus: Oh, is it a war protest to bring our courageous men and women home safely?

Man: Umm, no. . .

Jesus: Maybe it's to draw attention to the ever growing homeless situation? It is getting bitterly cold. . . Last night I slept. . .

Man: . . .As if. . .

Jesus: Hunger? Is this a rally to gather funds and food for the children that don't have enough during the rest of the year?

Man: Oh, whatever. I work for my food!

Jesus: . . .But they're children. . .

Man: Children have parents to take care of them. That's not my problem!

Jesus: Social equality? Racial discrimination? Freedom for political prisoners? What is your noble cause?!?

Man: Well, we're all cheesed off because Norman is having a Holiday parade instead of a Christmas parade. This is the time of year to celebrate Jesus' birthday!!

Jesus: But. . . But December isn't even my. . . Oh, never mind. I admire you for your spirit, and love you for your convictions.

Man: Love? You LOVE me? You fag!! You don't get to Oklahoma very often, do you?!?

Jesus: . . . Not nearly often enough, I'm afraid.

The Lord walks slowly toward Food and Shelter For Friends to find a meal.

Man: Freakin' Liberal. . .

I wonder. . . Why is it so many "Christians" don't mind celebrating the birth of the Christ not only in the wrong month, but during a pagan holiday season ( Saturnalia) yet when you refer to it as a holiday it sends them through the roof. Well, all I can say is that this truly will be an enjoyable holiday season for tweakers. Holiday. Holiday, holiday, holiday. Hee, hee, hee. . . Holiday. Happy HO OOOLIIIDAAAAAAY SS."


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