February 24, 2005

Whoa Thar! Slow Down A Minute.

Have you looked outside recently? Spring is coming on fast like a Shriner on a bleach blond hooker at a Pabst Blue Ribbon convention. Trees are budding, tulips are pushing through the soggy ground and the war drums of the neo-cons continue to beat. It could be a musical: Springtime in Poland. Wait... they already did that one.

This time two years ago, their drums were beating loudly for an egomaniacal fuck named Hussein running pissant Iraq. Now, they beat for Iran/Syria/North Korea because these countries have the gall to be afraid of the fuckers running our country. Can't say I blame 'em. I'd be scared too, but not as scared as our free press.

Right now, our free press is finally starting to wake up from the headiness of the post 9-11 nationalism. They're no longer goose-stepping in time with the neo-cons, and are now just beginning to print stories about how our veterans are being ill-treated, how the Bushies are planting stories through operatives like Gannon/Guckert, and the dollar is starting to take a mighty tumble. Wars may sell papers, but if the economy is in the shitter, there will no money with which to buy the papers. Simply put- we cannot afford another war. We cannot afford to institute a draft, but best of all- this administration cannot afford anymore flubs. The natives are growing restless with the lies, the graft and the abuse of their trust. Raising the alert code to orange will not work again. Someone has turned on the lights in the dancehall and realized the cutie pie we have mashing against to the tune of "Hail to the Chief" is really a ugly, ugly whore.

While it's nice that naysayers like me are finally being proved right, it's troublesome that there are so many revelations right now that people are starting to trip over them. The stories are rolling in and rolling out as fast as they can. Without getting any appreciable time in print or on the airwaves, the stories are being forgotten as soon as they are heard. Unlike Watergate where there was a slow buildup to the resignation, indictments and hearings, we are getting wave after wave of nonsense. To the already inoculated it all makes sense, but to the dumbass sheep who jump on any xenophobic, nationalistic, militaristic, pro-Christian movement out there, it's just a jumble of more hatred from the so-called liberal media.

So I implore the guys who control the news content of our major news outlets- let these stories trickle in for a while and let them build up steam. Don't rush to get the story like Dan Rather's crew. They were fucked and deserved to be because of their sloppiness. Check, double-check and triple check these stories. Print big headlines and lead off with these stories every night instead of the two-headed cow born in Buttfuck, New Mexico (although send me a personal e-mail about this because I'd love another picture for my office). Keep on telling the story of the falling dollar, the trillion dollar deficits and how the Chinese own our asses. Tell more stories about the Cold War alliances controlling oil and natural gas, the torture and imprisonment of Americans abroad by our government, the Saudis' complicity in the 9-11 attacks and how they still fund anti-American propaganda. Let's hear about the sweetheart deal to Wal-Mart regarding child labor inspections, journalists being paid off by the administration to push pro-Bush lines, the Bush tapes and how they reveal a sick power mad schmuck, the dumping of toxic waste in once pristine areas.....

I could keep going, but I'll just stop there. There are lots of stories like these that haven't been getting played because you news guys were pussies and had your wittle fweelings hurt by the fringe lunatics calling you liberal. You guys laid down and let the neo-cons run roughshod over our Democracy. Now it's time for you to fix it. Don't fix it selling more commercial time during the Today Show. Fix it by running stories with integrity. Fix it by telling the truth in a matter-of-fact way. Or else your rush- your sensationalism--- will undermine the very message you should have been telling the whole time.

If you guys don't take your time and get it right this time, democracy and the free press will just be figments of us naysayers' imaginations.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Like a shriner on a bleach blonde hooker? Some past experience we need to know about? Jake Da Wonderdog

11:40 AM  
Blogger The Raving Badger said...

I was just quoting you, my drunken friend. How's Denver? Balls turning blue yet?

3:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Im so bluuueeeeee..... Just adds to that John Wayne swagger I have

3:12 PM  
Blogger The Raving Badger said...

Swagger??? I thought that was an untreated case of crabs.

4:15 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home