October 10, 2006

Trump's Either Full of Shit or Retarded

I saw where Donald Trump referred to Angelina Jolie in an interview with Larry King. He's reported to have said, "I just don't even find her attractive"...

Okay. It's time to get out the big guns for the guardianship hearing over him and his assets. Obviously the man is freaking demented. I mean: who doesn't find Angelina Jolie attractive?????

Hell, Friday night I was sitting on a friend's back deck having a few beers talking to her and my best friend, Johnny, and AJ came up. We all agreed without a hint of embarassment or homophobia that we all think she's hot. Hell, we'd even switch teams because she's so hot. Well, not Johnny, he already batting for that team.... (he got to see Heidia Klum and her supermodel friends a few days earlier and I swear he's still sporting a chubby)

Yes, I like guys. That's been established for a several of decades now. So does my friend, but how can either of us truthfully deny the hot-tudiness of Angelina Jolie? How could we even consider turning down AJ for some hot nekkid sex? We couldn't for no other reason than in terms of looks she's the Mt. Everest of the current celebrity crowd. And we'd be lying if we said otherwise. Shit. Even my grandmother would do Angelina Jolie and I doubt she's had the urge to have sex in over twenty years.

The rundown on Angelina:

Not too skinny?


Not too pale?




Fiery eyes?


Throaty voice?


I might rather be friends with Jennifer Aniston, but if I'm switching teams, it will be for Team Jolie.

Look, Trump's lying his ass offto keep out of divorce court or he's plainly mental. If it's the latter, his family members are welcome to call me to commence guardianship proceedings. My number's in the book.


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