June 20, 2005

The Evergrowing List of Things To Do

We all have lists. Short lists. Long lists. Incomplete lists. Grocery lists we leave on the kitchen counter. Mental check lists for driving, bathing, dish washing, foreplay, etc..

I have a growing list of things I want to do before I become a parent, grow infirm or die. I don't think these things are negotiable at this point because my list is new.

I want to go sky diving.

I want to go to the Grand Canyon and float from one end to the other.

I want to visit New York.

I want to visit a tropical island and get a nasty foreign bug and come back home bitching but 10 lbs. lighter with a tan.

I want to go to Sturgis.

I want to go deep sea fishing 40 miles plus off the coast.

I could add a few things to this list but that would mean really baring my soul. It ain't gonna happen today. Maybe it's part of the early mid-life crisis we all must go thru. The only thing I can't figure is knowing when it's just a list, when it's an avoidance mechanism of more reponsibility or when it's really a regret.

I can see my list slightly being an avoidance mechanism and partly being borne of my being in my 30's, but there's also part of me that sees this list (and my unspoken list) being part of my just being old enough to know what regrets I have. Honestly, I never thought I would be a person that had regrets because comparatively, I have always been more of a risk taker than many of my friends. But not enough I guess. Maybe it was me that was a stick in the mud and set in my ways. And maybe I was too much of pussy to fight when I should have.

Life is too short to be stuck here in a windowless office day-to-day with the closest idea of a vaction being the bar down the street for an hour or two after work. I need to start crossing things off my list and keep inventing new lists because soon I'll be dead just like everyone else I know and that's a bit too underwhelming and depressing.

It's just too bad I put off the important lists for all of the unfinished lists I have here at work and home.

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