I Need a Twelve Step Program

for politics. I mean- I am watching, reading, discussing even eschewing sex for politics. WTF? Me? Of the too-damn-good-to-be-true-school-of-libidinous-activity is ignoring my hubby to live blog a fucking AARP debate.

I can't help it. I figure I have a 1 in 50 chance of getting laid and the debate is a sure thing. What would you do? Yep, you know you want to cyber circle jerk to terms like "universal health care," "alternative minimum tax," and "fiscal reponsibility." Yep. I am even addicted to starting fights elsewhere defending my candidate or at least attacking the Masters of Limp-Dicked Politics- Edwards and Obama.

I have even nicknamed the Democratic candidates by Snow White standards- with Hillary as Snow White:

Hillary and the Seven Dwarves.

Obama- Stinky
Edwards- Blinky
Kucinich- Twinky
Biden- Fighty
Dodd- Whitey
Gravel- Crotchety
Richardson- Botchety

Think about that. I actually took time to figure it out because it was funny and interesting to me.

I'm telling you. I need an intervention. I can't even leave the house to get my drink on without setting up TiVo for Hardball and Countdown. And when I get home, sloshed and pissed out of my mind, I order a cheese steak and watch my shows. Whiel I am reading the newest political blog entries.

Arghhh. I need help.